Mario’s Game Gallery is a fever dream from 1995 composed of an assortment of classic games to appease both the checkers aficionado and the Mario enthusiast. 

I came across this game in the same fashion I come across most of my obscure, dated video games: late one Saturday night – browsing through the seemingly endless inventory of Internet Archive. Being as bored and curious (and desperate for entertainment) as I was, I instantly clicked on this game. I envisioned it to be a tame, basic game – but this notion was soon proved erroneous.

The game opens to a bright green screen with the formally dressed Mario welcoming you to the game. There are four game options: checkers, go fish, backgammon, and yacht (which is actually Yahtzee). In all of these games, you play against Mario – who makes small talk with you while you play the game; beware of this though, as he will shame you if you take too long to make a move. Though I can appreciate Mario’s dedication to the game, I don’t enjoy being pestered while I grab a glass of water in the middle of the game; perhaps that is just the price I pay for not having anyone else but Mario to play ‘go fish’ with. At times I am bothered by Mario’s need to berate me, but I do appreciate that Mario interacts with whoever he plays against; I believe this interactive aspect of the game should be noted as a plus. Beyond Mario being sassy throughout the entirety of your game, you can enjoy silly sound effects whose inclusion is seemingly both necessary and outlandish – making for an interesting game of ‘yacht.’ Never has dice rolling been so . . . entertaining? Another fun element of this game are the random appearances of Koopa and Yoshi – who serve as game pieces and transitional screens. 

Mario’s Game Gallery has garnered points in its favor for the sound effects, interactive game play and table conversation, and usage of Yoshi and Koopa – but there are some issues I take with this game. The first issue I take with this game is that it doesn’t offer a wide variety of games to play with Mario. I want more options than the four provided to me, because not every day is a ‘checkers’ kind of day. Additionally, the color scheme of this game is a little questionable.

All in all, this game was a night well spent. My final verdict on the rating of this game is three out of five Koopa shells; the game is definitely worth taking a look at, but I don’t foresee many people returning to this game as it has no story and it has very few options. If you enjoy silly, retro games that include a rather impatient Mario, you’ll love this game. If you enjoy fast loading times and having a vast array of choices at your fingertips, this game might not be for you. I’d love to stay and chat, but Mario is badgering me to return to the game.